Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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