Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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