I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
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