I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
