how can u be prego again
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
