out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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