He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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