Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
40s are totally the cure
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
