Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

People with herpes should wear stickers.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.

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(647): View more from Ontario

You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

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(705): View more from Ontario

Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.

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(613): View more from Ontario

you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk

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(845): View more from New York

dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.

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