I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
