stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
