just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Quick, to the slutcave!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
The uberlube is also flammable
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
