Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
