so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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