It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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