How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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