okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
