the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
