ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize