I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
