So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize