3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
you didnt know i had herpes?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
