he puts the penis in happiness.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
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