1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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