i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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