I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
