I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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