If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
