I wish I could teleport
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be still, my beating vagina.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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