Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
