Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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