I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
