I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
