just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
