the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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