Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I will pee on everything he values.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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