Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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