it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
