do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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