I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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