I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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