"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
