why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
