Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
