this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
