dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
