your room smells of hookers.
And success
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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