Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
