He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
