careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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