So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
We are all done wearing pants today
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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