I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
