I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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