Don't you send me to vm
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize