yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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