Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
