I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
