she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
His nipple licking is glorious
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