My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
