normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
