My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
