Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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