you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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