Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
