I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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