at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
