The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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