let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
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