no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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