You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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