NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
