Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
